Buyer’s remorse is a popular reason to return an item to the store, but in this case, Nintendo won’t honor refunds. I’ve been on a motion-sports kick, and I was curious whether the Switch had any sports compilations that could bring back that sweet nostalgia. I tried Nintendo Switch Sports, and I was disappointed that 1/3 of the game is hitting a ball over a net (one of the easiest motion games to make), and the rest was golf, swords, bowling, and basketball. This game made me miss the glory days of the Wii, Kinect, and PS Move, so I decided to return it. I tried Go Vacation because it boasted 50+ activities, but I learned the motion controls were meh. Most of the games required shaking the Joy-Con and that was it.
Then Breakfirst Instant Sports 2 made an incredibly bold claim: enhanced motion controls, live camera capability, and mouse controls. I could play baseball, boxing, and minigolf. This got me excited as I hungered for a fun baseball homerun derby. Here is a screen cap of the bold claim.
Even AI affirmed that motion controls fully utilized the swinging motions for realistic actions.
AI was so confident that this existed, but there was a problem. Three YouTube longplays were only showing button controls. In fact, no video review mentioned motion gaming. I thought that was strange, but why would a company boast so highly of the MOST ENHANCED MOTION CONTROLS and then not include it. Plus, why does this game have such small coverage on the internet. I swear there is a blanket of shame on sports games that use motion controls (and I learned why).
I bought Instant Sports 2. Full price. $29.99. I had to know. And I realized that I had just made the worst gaming purchase of my life. There is absolutely no motion gaming. It’s not on a secret menu. It’s not an option. It’s not a peripheral you have to buy. I restarted the game several times with different Joy-Con configurations, and there wasn’t a single option involving motion controls. Breakfirst still hasn’t answered any of my emails asking for help, but I doubt they have a miracle answer. Every exciting boast about this game was an utter lie.
What makes things worse is how utterly dry and boring these games are without motion controls. You aim your reticule at a ball, hit the A button, then repeatedly hit A to run the bases. You can win the boxing game by spamming the punch button. The skateboard game is just moving back and forth to avoid obstacles. The minigolf game is about aiming your ball and deciding how much power to put into it. These are games for 3-year-olds whose parents won’t let them have a cell phone. I take that back, there are free cell phone games that have more play options than Instant Sports 2. The Instant Sports series is known for making lackluster sports titles, but this one is built on tons of deception.
I looked into the source material that AI used to confirm motion controls, and the web of deceit and scumbaggery continued. The website that confirmed motion controls was a trap site that led to a guy’s get-rich-quick scheme. The lie that promised gamers amazing controls was bait for a Ponzi scheme. I don’t know how you can push so much evil and falsehoods on such a lackluster game. Breakfirst knows they are putting the least amount of quality into a game as their budget allows, but the added layer of Ponzi schemes and outright deception is bizarre. Why not just call it “Baby’s First Sport Party” and market it as a game for developing toddlers? This game is not worth more than $10.
I feel stupid, and I blame my decisions entirely. I should have known that a company that makes lackluster games wasn’t going to change overnight. I should have realized that motion gaming is dead on the Switch. But the worst part is that I didn’t know how deep Nintendo’s lack of quality and accountability is on their eShop. Nintendo does not let gamers review purchases to warn others about scams and shady offerings. Nintendo won’t let you have a refund if you get scammed. A company known for quality and attention to detail is dead set on running a wild, careless eShop.
I came away with 2 conclusions from this wild purchase. Motion gaming is dead, and the only way to revisit it is to buy a PS3, Wii, or Xbox 360. I have no hope that Nintendo Sports Resort will revive the genre. My second conclusion is that the Steam store, Xbox Marketplace, and PlayStation Store are much safer places to make purchases. I will be more careful from this point on.