I have often wondered (plotted, schemed, devised) how I would completely give up electronic gaming as a hobby. That phrase is terrifying if you knew how my body and brain love the electronic stimulation. You might even wonder why I would entertain such a ridiculous goal. Did I fall for the lazy and dumb argument that video games are against God’s will because they have violence?
Let me explain.
For some reason, there are hobbies my brain cannot handle. These hobbies are paradoxical: incredibly stimulating and fun, yet never enough. I am hardwired to either love something to its absolute death or casually pick it up from time to time. Unfortunately, video games have always been the latter. My type of fascination with them is an endless rabbit hole where an enthusiast can eat, sleep, dream, collect, and wallow in it for days on end. That might be something you can do without harming yourself, but it absolutely drives me crazy. As a spiritually mature leader, I cannot go to bed with goals and aspirations on furthering my video game kingdom and feel at peace with it.
I tried many diets with video games. I tried to stop buying new consoles, games, and gadgets. That did not last very long. I tried to play only wholesome or educational games. My brain did not fall for that trick. I find myself only satisfied with complete surrender to the hobby. That really disappoints me because I just wanted to be a casual enjoyer of games. I wanted to own like ten of them and pick them up once or twice a month. I can throw away cartoons, TV, comics, and board games like they were not trending, but I have this contractual agreement that video games must be everything or nothing. It’s the old Twelve Steps adage, “One is too many and one-hundred is not enough.”
So, I desire to forge a life where electronic stimulation, level grinding, and retro collecting is not my hobby. When I tried it in the past, I could feel my mind go through the stages of grief.
Denial: It was never that big of a deal
Sadness: Life is empty if you can’t partake in video games.
Anger: How could you abuse something so wonderful?
Plea bargaining: Can’t we stop for a day or so?
I realize that Biblical Purity is not just abstaining from lust and keeping a healthy diet, but it’s training your brain not to get corrupted by temporary things. Your Spirit can tell the difference between enjoying something for its goodness and relying on something for survival. When we fall into the reliance category we start to deprioritize God and live for ourselves.
Once again, I wish with all my heart and soul I could be a casual gamer, but I know my brain doesn’t work that way. I have spent far too long breaking my promises and dreaming up a future that will never be satisfying. I sifted through eBay, looking for every new contraption and gizmo that could spike my dopamine, and then felt the hangover of a wasted life.
I also know my kids are hardwired like me, so it would be a trap to introduce them to this lifestyle. My kids need to see a role model who follows: “Everything is permissible for me,” but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible for me,” but I will not be mastered by anything. 1 Corinthians 6:12
I am sure I will still use video games for exercise (Just Dance), and community (Fortnite); however, the crazy insanity of maintaining, upgrading, and perfecting my collection needs to stop.
