Love is God’s Will (Pt. 3)

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Ephesians 6:1-3

In Wednesday season 2, the edgy teenage goth is having mother problems. Morticia, Wednesday’s mom, forbade her from delving into her psychic visions because Wednesday always gets in trouble. Wednesday is forced to challenge her mom to a fencing duel to get her to cooperate, but when Morticia bests her cocky and rebellious daughter, Wednesday is left with no choice but to honor her wishes.

Teens and young adults often struggle with the Ephesians 6:1-3 command. They have one foot out the door, heading toward independence, and one foot still connected to their family. Some parents butt heads with their sons and daughters, trying to get them to follow a rule or a piece of wisdom. The reality is that parents cannot make adult decisions for you, but at the same time, loving them means honoring them.

And wait, didn’t Jesus say we are allowed to hate our parents to love Him? (pastors, now is a good time to teach your students Jesus’ use of hyperbole.)

First, your relationship with your parents must be free of bitterness and spite. That rule applies to everyone, but it holds doubly for parents. That can be the hardest thing to achieve if there is some unanswered hurt, but it must be a goal you achieve. Nothing ruins your future like ill will toward your family. If you need to start here, ask your church leaders or a counselor for help with this process.

Second, you are entering the space between dependence and independence, and you must tow the line between making your own well-informed decisions and respecting the role of the adults in your life. The goal is love, which gives you the responsibility to show it to them. Leave room for God to still have a plan for your parents, and accept the possibility that they hold a crucial role in it.

The important thing is to recognize that God’s love is vast, and it includes the guardians who raised you. Scripture promises long life for those who love and respect their parents. I believe the most significant mental health benefits come from having peace and love for the adults in our lives.

This call to love might be the easiest command in the Bible for some, or the most challenging obstacle. This is God’s will, and that means he can help you do it.

Figure it Out:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Ephesians 6:1-3

  1. Circle any words or phrases that are significant to you. What makes them stand out?
  2. How do you envision a future with your parents/guardians?
  3. How would you define honor in this passage?
  4. How do you think the promise of long life is fulfilled?

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