As a techno dweeb, I pride myself in getting the coolest, shiniest, and prettiest stuff on the market. I don’t always go for the mainstream, though, which is why I like to see how 3rd party companies are faring in the techno wars. My collection of gadgets is impressive and eccentric.

When it came time for a new productivity computer, I drooled heavily for the $900 Surface Pro 11. It was a 12-inch rectangle with blazing speeds, AI capabilities, and creativity. I wanted to feel like an elite techno weenie having a computer that housed a Snapdragon X Plus.

This would be the last time I pined for a Windows device, as I fell into the trap of all Windows computers. Windows is too heavy—not physically, but mentally. The machines are always thinking, churning, and grinding. The OS spews out heat even if the tablet was meant to be portable. I can never escape the feeling that Windows is a gas-powered generator, noisily sputtering on your desk. That heavy price is what it takes to play AAA games, edit videos, and install virus cleaners. When you sit at a PC, you are sitting at a command station of power.

I took home my Surface, ready to give Microsoft one last chance. She was a $860 gouge to my wallet, but I knew the quality would make up for it. Expensive things don’t fail, I told myself. I didn’t need to worry about the pen and the keyboard because I had some third-party gadgets at home.

The first strike was the Surface not coming with a charger. I could excuse a keyboard and a pen, but the ability to power the stupid thing was a harsh blow. I began to realize that the Surface had no intention of making me feel blessed. I powered through and started her up. After 30 minutes of updating and installing, I could log in to my Microsoft account. Microsoft asked me to upgrade Onedrive, or I wouldn’t be getting the whole Microsoft experience.

I needed to test the creative limits of this power machine. She was fast, but could she handle my creativity. I took out my 3rd party pen and began to draw. The rectangle laughed at my drawings the whole time. Each line was lazy and jagged, while my palm registered drawing debris. I was thankful Co-Pilot wanted to use AI to transform my squid cat into a nicer looking squid cat, but doodling on this thing was not fun. I felt like I had the motor skills of a 3 year old. I figured out I needed to dump 150 bucks on the proper pen to get it working right.

But surely, the gaming would justify the experience. The Adreno GPU would feel smooth like silk. Except there is one problem. I couldn’t pick more than one game because every game needed at least 45 GB of storage installed. My 256 GB of storage would be decimated by 3 games. When I decided on Warframe (it loaded so quickly), the game stuttered at every turn. I heard that the ARM based processor was sketchy with many games, but even Nintendo Switch could get Warframe working. I tried Lego Batman 2, and it worked. Then, green splotches rose up over different textures. Gaming was out of the question.

The tablet ran hot at the bottom and I began to realize this rectangle was not acting like it cost $860 bucks. If I wanted to get it working properly I needed to dump $200 more into it. Instead of digging myself deeper in a hole, I decided to take it back. I reset it back to factory condition, banishing the files to the abyss. Well…I tried to reset it, but the tablet straight up refused. It told me, “Sorry, you can’t reset this PC…because reasons, and also screw you.”

You are not winning, Surface! I drove back to Best Buy and threw the cursed black box in the hands of customer support. I begged them to give me something simple, beautiful, and creative. I told them they could have my files if the cursed box stayed with them. The powers of the 30-day return policy had my back, and they presented the Samsung Tab S10 FE+ (I need a break just to write that). It was a bright, zippy 13-inch rectangle,  and I only spent $600.

Samsung can do magic with Android. Even if Android can’t handle powerful video editors, Warframe, or 16 GB of RAM, it felt like an upgrade. I started drawing and doodling up a storm. My pictures were still ugly, but at least it was my fault this time. I can write this entire article with my thumbs, and the cracker-thin architecture doesn’t heat up, nor does the battery drop more than 2%.

I might be stuck in Android land playing PUBG and editing on Samsung Studio, but I feel rich. I feel so rich that I think Microsoft just lost its loyal customer. Samsung is the best tablet for all forms of work and play.