1. The Switch 2 is actually a reskin of a different console made by the creators of Doki Doki Panic.
  2. The 4K versions of previous Switch games are all hand drawn by Ghibli Studio.
  3. Originally, Nintendo was going to add The Virtual Boy to their Plus subscription, but they couldn’t find a 3rd game for it.
  4. All of Link’s original voice actors are returning to help with future games.
  5. All Switch 2 games are no more than 15 mb, but the bulk of space in each cartridge is WWE No Mercy’s source code copy and pasted 1500 times.
  6. N64 games fit in the dock.
  7. Nintendo was originally going to make a Game Pass subscription, but they couldn’t buy out Blizzard, Activision, and Mojang in time.
  8. Sega has vowed to add three disappointments to the system by Winter
  9. Duskbloods is actually just a 4K version of the PS1’s Medieval.
  10. The console costs $50 to make, but the added $400 is insurance against any emulators and roms that might come out on Steamdeck.
  11. The Switch OS is modeled after a DMV form.
  12. The eStore will charge 50 cents just to browse the games.
  13. There is a helpline you can call if any game dips below 30 frames.
  14. The new Mario game will have fatalities.
  15. Animal Crossing promises to make their sequel OPEN WORLD.
  16. Sony offered to go halfsies on the system, but Nintendo withdrew at the last moment.
  17. Metroid Prime 4 is actually set in New Orleans.
  18. If you complain about the outdated tech, Gary Bowser has the legal right to publicly execute you.
  19. All games are streamed from Mr. Beast’s hard drive.
  20. Donkey Kong Bananza has a strong pro-Palestine message
  21. If Nintendo gets 500,000 pre-orders, they promise not to make a Mario Vs. Sonic Olympics game.
  22. The Nintendo Switch 2 is actually a 129-bit system, adding 1 extra bit from The Switch.